Meet a new guy -> hang with him -> get feelings -> completely disconnect from him

or sometimes I’ll be smart and cut ties before anything actually happens between us.

I’m fucked up.

I’m just gonna go to sleep tonight feeling completely shitty all because of you. I swear, you love to twist my words and make me feel like a horrible person.

I swear, I will never have a serious/meaningful relationship.

Guys that try to get close to me, I just end up using.

But it’s like, I never feel the same. Ever.

Guys who want to be with me, I want absolutely nothing to do with.

And guys that I’m crazy about could care less about me.

So fucking shitty.

Like nothing I do is right.

I work 8 hours.

Get yelled at by customers.

Get disrespected by customers.

Come home.

Get screamed at some more.

Get criticized for everything.

Barely sleep.

Cry.

Finally sleep.

Wake up pissed off.

Work again.

I need a vacation from life.

This is all too much lately.

I’m just here pouring my heart out to you and I continue to get treated like shit and told that we couldn’t work out. You don’t understand how much it took me to come out and actually tell you my feelings.

Please, continue to shit on me and make me feel horrible.

Because I am a “bad influence” because we hung with someone who is 23 and black. But seriously. This is ridiculous. HE DOESN’T EVEN SMOKE. Which her mom thinks we did. I drank 2 goddamn beers, then got food, and drove home because I didn’t eat since 2pm. Like, why? This is ridiculous. We aren’t babies. We’re 19. Pretty positive my best friend doesn’t need a curfew, especially when she doesn’t even work tomorrow.